Part 13: Whoring for Jesus

On Saturday I headed for the fair. Just as Marie had said my ticket was waiting for me at the side entrance. The fair was huge. I’m not kidding you; it’d have taken me the whole day if I had wanted to see even half of the places there. I went to the map of the fair. It took me a while to find the Mormon booth. They were at the literature part of the fair. Good. If they would’ve been at the science part I would’ve flipped. I decided to head to the Mormon booth first.

Marie waved eagerly when she saw me. There were two other elderly women with her. The booth was not very large. There were pamphlets in multitude, copies of the BoM in over 15 languages, and a large Jesus on the wall, staring at me with his creepy eyes. I got to sit down on a comfy chair and relax. It was interesting to watch when they tried to preach their faith to passerby. No one was really interested. There was one man who had a Ph.D. in religious studies, and had read the BoM in his native language but now wanted an English copy of it sent to his home. Otherwise no one was really interested.

Marie told me that I should give it a go, because I could certainly attract a lot of girls with my looks. She told me that a lot of the girls at church had been wondering who the good-looking fella with David had been at church. I felt extremely uneasy with the thought of whoring myself for the sake of Jesus. Oh, so now I’m only this guy with a pretty face? Typical. Women never see me for who I am…

I also got to be a model. Marie wanted the other women to take pictures of her “teaching” me. They said that the pictures would be used on the Mormon web page. To be honest I haven’t yet found the pictures there. Maybe after my apostasy they deleted all traces of me from their archives.

I wanted to look around the rest of the fair, so I went on and thanked Marie for her time. I rushed for the science part of the fair. I had overdosed on religion and needed science to stabilize my mind. I found a bookstore, and had to by an IQ test just to make sure my IQ hadn’t dropped due to prolonged exposure to Mormons. I felt a huge relief being surrounded by reason for the first time in a long time.

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